Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Letting go never ends...

today was the day. my baby, who is nearly five, was off to school. two years ago when my son started school i grieved openly. apart from the morning sessions at kindy he had only been cared for by me or a family member. so leaving him at school with strangers (well trained educators, but strangers to us) really challenged me. i cried and slowly we adjusted. at the time my hubby kindly reminded me to get prepared as in 2 years when my daughter starts i would need to go back to work. i totally freaked out. i had just pushed my 1st baby bird into the world to learn to fly without me and in the same breath i was expected to get ready for something i had no capacity to do.

now that time has come, the work is there with more options to come. however the focus for me is still on the children. my daughter has begun her journey into the world. she certainly has taken it in her stride and is braver than i had imagined. no tears today. i was braver too. the lesson for me is about letting go. opening my heart. embracing the excitement.

listening to her telling her grandmother on the phone all about the adventures and stories of her day at school was amazing. in one day this girl has grown up. a new independence, confidence and pride. tonight tucked up in bed she asked, "mum are you proud of me?" i said "YES very proud." she said "i am very proud of me too." with that she promptly fell asleep. a big day deserves big sleep.

this mummy is tired from processing the magnitude of how the world is changing for me and my family. the world has started spinning just a little bit faster. can you feel it? i was at a bit of a lose end, not knowing what to do with myself with this slice of space & time. isn't this what i have been waiting for, dreaming about? i purposefully didn't fill up my day, but i was a bit lost in the gap. another part of me is waiting to be created. new beginnings for us all, again.

may you wish upon something shiney & bright
and may your heart be strong enough for it to come true.

thats the thing about wishes, you have to let go, even if it is just to exhale...

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