Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Space.....

how do you make a space fit where you're at?

i'm going through a growth spurt and i'm not fitting in to my old spaces. now this is all about physical spaces but from a metaphysical perspective....if you know what i mean? this is sometimes how i get, all in my head. i struggle, wiggle, and wrestle with my thoughts and self about, well just about everything. i feel like the chrysalis before it becomes the butterfly.....talk about transformation...

my dear friends have to listen to some out-there ramblings during these periods. this is how i tend to process new ideas, thoughts, concepts until i settle into the expanded refreshed order. the other thing i do is move furniture and alter space. now i love all of this. but when there is resistance i know that i'm dealing with big stuff, shifts of some magnitude and the sadness comes as i feel like i'm not going to get it, and will remain stuck, motionless and down.

i am uncomfortable in the middle of this process. its always going on, but the more learning i am doing the more my soul is asking me to grow. the small person in me who tends to stand with her feet in the snow, too cold to move from her spot is asserting her immature stance. i have willingness and i have blocks. now i just need to build that bridge and get over myself, one block at a time.

SARK advocates doing things in MICRO MOVEMENTS (5seconds to 5minutes) but the mess is too much. its taking too long. my family is disrupted. i'm a bit obsessed. i am accepting all of the less pleasant parts more. being kinder, practicing some love, and waiting for the full moon and the energy to change. sometimes this stuff is not personal but cosmically bigger than what i can know. so this is me sometimes: weird and wordy, stuck and scared, taking deep breaths.

finding a space in my house isn't going as well as i had planned in my head. nothing feels right. rearranging usually helps but i still feel limited and confined to what is already there and its not fitting right. i think the big thing is that its winter, grey & rainy. my house is brown, everywhere. i am not a grey or a brown kinda girl. i am a energised by bright colours. look at my paintings and there is not much grey or brown. i would like my house to be transformed into a greek villa in the whites and blues. that would make me happy. this is not to be for now. i will utilise the room i have, eventually.

i am blessed with a wonderful home, the ability to dream, paint and create. i choose love to; build bridges with, play with blocks, dance like a chrysalis, fly like a butterfly and soar with my heart.
may i find peace in my walls, lightness in the tasks ahead, and abundance in the splashes of paint.

thanks for being part of my processing,
spinning & twirling.....
*




1 comment:

Bev said...

i love it when i visit and you are saying the things that are in my head that i can't articulate...
wiggling with you...
xo