Saturday, October 17, 2009

where have i been, now?

We have had holidays, and sickness, a fresh term at school and a garden to work.
As for me mainly laundry, a bit of painting, some photos, talking on the phone to catch up with the peeps and am getting hormonally sorted. There is a new feeling of calm in me. Loving that.

Bit unnerving.....when the man of the house asks "who are you and what have you done with my wife?" in a hectic, grump free morning kitchen.

Pilates is helping too. Hurting but in that good, "i can feel it is working for me" way.... if only i could walk every day or a few days every week, i'd be seeing the progress and feeling the love... feeling saner but not much kinder... "just do it" is like a foreign concept, what is with that?

nearly in the month of "another year older and what have you done?" and getting a sense of waisted opportunities, i don't have regret, cause i don't know what they were/are, yet i have a feeling.... do you know what i mean?

i know where i have been, not so clear on where i'm going... this maybe the thing of it.....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

love the clarity that comes with the 40's ... just read something that went a bit like ...

'we may not be sure who we are becoming or where we are going but we are clear about what we dont like and who we dont want to become ... and thats the beginnning of understanding'