Looking for little things.....

learning to use the camera and seeing the beauty in the little things around us....

                                     "Looking for little..."

    

      

(click on the title above to see bigger slideshow)

sparkle & twirl

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Letting go never ends...

today was the day. my baby, who is nearly five, was off to school. two years ago when my son started school i grieved openly. apart from the morning sessions at kindy he had only been cared for by me or a family member. so leaving him at school with strangers (well trained educators, but strangers to us) really challenged me. i cried and slowly we adjusted. at the time my hubby kindly reminded me to get prepared as in 2 years when my daughter starts i would need to go back to work. i totally freaked out. i had just pushed my 1st baby bird into the world to learn to fly without me and in the same breath i was expected to get ready for something i had no capacity to do.

now that time has come, the work is there with more options to come. however the focus for me is still on the children. my daughter has begun her journey into the world. she certainly has taken it in her stride and is braver than i had imagined. no tears today. i was braver too. the lesson for me is about letting go. opening my heart. embracing the excitement.

listening to her telling her grandmother on the phone all about the adventures and stories of her day at school was amazing. in one day this girl has grown up. a new independence, confidence and pride. tonight tucked up in bed she asked, "mum are you proud of me?" i said "YES very proud." she said "i am very proud of me too." with that she promptly fell asleep. a big day deserves big sleep.

this mummy is tired from processing the magnitude of how the world is changing for me and my family. the world has started spinning just a little bit faster. can you feel it? i was at a bit of a lose end, not knowing what to do with myself with this slice of space & time. isn't this what i have been waiting for, dreaming about? i purposefully didn't fill up my day, but i was a bit lost in the gap. another part of me is waiting to be created. new beginnings for us all, again.

may you wish upon something shiney & bright

and may your heart be strong enough for it to come true.

thats the thing about wishes, you have to let go, even if it is just to exhale...

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To be attached....

... to everything is not good.

Nothing good comes from being attached to outcomes. But i ask you, how hard is it not to be. Deepak (read more here) writes a lot about the Law of Detachment. I love it but, boy it's hard to remember. Attachment is sneaky, you don't think its there and then something changes and the disappointment, frustration and grrr are all thats left. so then you know you were attached.

i would love to not hope for outcomes, dream of possibilities or plan for certain things. but i do. i have been conditioned to do this, some western patriarchal thinking actual encourages and rewards this. attachment is not working for me. i was looking forward to something and now it can't happen. its not a major thing in the big picture, just to me. i'll get over it most likely soon after i have purged here. yet i am a bit sad, finding it hard to move on. i am like the petulant child who wants what she wants. my mind is having a little tantrum, cause its not fair. another part of my brain is saying "suck it up, its just not that big a deal". this is also true.

what i have lived through in my short lifespan is pretty easy compared to most of the world and even in comparison to previous generations of my own family lines that have come before me. i have more material "stuff" than any one person needs. i am truly blessed. why do i seem to turn my blessings into a problem? i read a review of this book, which sounds kinda interesting. am i just too spoilt in life and create the problems in my own life because my life is too easy/comfortable? well maybe. but we are all fighting our own battles. to be kind, no judgement, right?

what is the gift here? learning detachment could quite possibly be the answer. so i will practice letting go of my attachment to the hopes and the disappointments and create a new outcome based on an openness to whatever lies before me instead. sounds good. feels good. will keep you posted. oh, by the way how is your attachment? if you have any tips to overcome attachment i'd love to hear your thoughts.

may we all skip lightly through the maze of our own complexities.

kindness is all that matters.

the heart can only take so much.

breathe deeply. exhale more deeply.

dream dizzily of magic and freedom.

it will be ok.

it is enough. (this is a great scene to remind us all we are perfect and when he says "enough enough now", a great example of letting go)

Jewel's "Hands" is also in my mind as a good reminder. off i go to untangle some attachments...

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Life is funny like that.....

Ever laughed after being freaked out at how things work out? life has this funny way of twisting and turning out just how you never dared to dream it would. so i did the SARK e-course, a big decision, a big outlay. yet worth everything that i received. and the best things were the little surprises not on the itinerary: a connection to a creative community of dreamers, a new friendship which was launched while setting sail from unchartered vulnerabilities, hope, a hunger to paint, less fear to put myself, my art & my perspective out into the world.

my new friend sent me a link to Self Love Studio . i checked it out. it was free and is really good. i loved the interviews. i started doing the things suggested and i feel a freshness. it may just be the beetroot carrot and apple juice i've fallen in love with.
i started thinking about my body as a temple. the last 20years i have not been that good to my temple. and as i go into my 40th decade i would like my temple to see me through another 40. as come to the end of this inspiring path, i feel sad, where will the next spark spring from. i would like to say from with in, but i am not there, yet.
so i explore Christine's site and discover A Madly In Love With Me Kit. Again its free. I am thinking who is this person who is creating these free tools and resources for women just like me. i felt moved to write to thank her for her generosity and spirit. she wrote back to me straight away thanking me for my affirmations. so nice.
But it is me who is so grateful to have found a way to move toward my healthiest, strongest, loving and kindest self. In taking a Summer Retreat (in the middle of winter), from the comfort of my own house i know that i am blessed and on my way.

do you ever feel like you may not be able to hold in your heart or both arms the abundance of the Universe? so i want you to know i do, i do, i do believe in serendipity, fairies, synchronicity, prayers,angels, faith, love and a Universal Wise One. i just have to be open, vulnerable, brave enough to receive all that is out there for me.
i'll be doing some sparkling & twirling round here....

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Learning more about creating this space called BLOG

Just added a few badges. Loving my flickr photos that change in that badge. what next? maybe my fave music.....mmmmm............stay tuned.
i will try to fit some painting in between rearranging rooms, furniture and my mind. with big open hearted gratitude for all that i am blessed to receive. i throw my arms out wide and embrace all that is given. i see the wonder around me and look forward to sharing the riches of what i experience here, with you.
sparkle & twirl
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