Monday, February 20, 2012


{my cousin's wedding}

Recently we drove across 4 states, 3000kms.
A 10 day holiday, for a 4day wedding.
It was so wonderful. 
I found renewed connection with the country in which i live, my family, children & husband.
The driving was relaxing. I read a fantastic book.
I intend on giving to all my friends with daughters when they turn 50.
As a daughter i healed a part of my younger self.
So after this amazing holiday, we returned to the business of a new school year, work, study, looking for more work, establishing my new business. 
I just want to go back to the simplicity.
I, like you am competent at multi-tasking, coping with crisis, being there for everyone, self actualising and tying shoelaces constantly. i want to stop the world and get off. or at least slow it down to a walking pace.   
i have nothing to complain about, i am just in the middle of a rich life.
i am torn between being able to do it all and not actually wanting to.
I want a peaceful life. 
i want to do meaningful work.
i want to play & dream with my children.
i want a calm, clear house.
i have not been able to reconcile the tensions in and around me.
work in progress here.

i watched the sequel to Anne of Green Gables yesterday.
Like Anne i am searching. I do not live in  Avonlea. 
I live in 2012, suburban year of the dragon, wanting to create magic, and wanting to sit on my porch all day until the sunsets and the mozzies come out.
God, Canada has heavenly countryside. 

time for sleep.
recharge briefly, only to get up and wrestle with myself again tomorrow.


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